Many Milestones

Since I last wrote our little baby boy has gone through so many changes, both physically and developmentally, it's hard to keep track of them all! Last week he sat up by himself from being completely flat on his back. Me and J exclaimed in wonder - how did he go it? Could he do it again? I'd briefly left him on his back after a nappy change and on my return 10 seconds later he was sat bolt upright and beaming. Little did we know that this was not the only milestone reached that day... for when I put him in cot that evening to run his bath I watched in fascination as he crawled over his bed like he'd been doing it for months. Excitedly I called J upstairs to witness this long-awaited miracle. By the next evening Harrison was pulling himself up to standing in his cot very sturdily and supporting himself in standing downstairs against the sofas. I wouldn't say he runs us ragged now, but his penchant for cables, wires, the brick fireplace and anything remotely dangerous is quite exhausting.

But it's not all oohs and ahhs over here. Well perhaps there are ahhs but they're delivered in a painful screech. For my darling natured baby and his two tiny teeth have learnt how to bite me, particularly in a very vulnerable place as he's feeding...he has only done it a few times now, all when he's had a streaming cold, so I'm hoping it doesn't become a regular thing as that will cut the final weeks of breastfeeding down dramatically. And whilst we're on the subject, today is the first day I'm only offering 3 breastfeeds, so we'll see how that goes. He has coped with cutting his milk down surprisingly well, but then I have made this process very gradual, as much as for his sake as mine.

In other news I've asked for a 6 month extension of leave to delay me returning to work. The idea of leaving my little monkey with someone else is just heartbreaking to me and I haven't been coping with the idea of returning to work at all well. If I get an extension, it will alleviate all the pressure and insecurities I feel about leaving my son with strangers who are paid (an extortionate amount) to care for him rather than doing it out of love. He is the most important thing in the world to me and I can't afford to put him with people who may not have his best interests at heart whilst I go off to work for a pittance. Hopefully in 6 months my mum will have a part time job that will mean she can look after Harrison at least some of the time, allowing me to gradually return to work (part time) and bring home a little bit of extra income.

As I type this he is laying sweetly asleep in my lap. His little hand on my chest and his eyelids flickering as he dreams. The first year of his life is just rushing by like a freight train. Every night as I feed him to sleep I'm aware that we're only months away from losing our special bond, which is just so sad. But each night brings a new day and a new adventure for me and my boy.